I wish I were posting a “Yay! I did it!” message. But alas somewhere around October, encouraged by a friend’s suggestion to “Just Make It Done!” I more or less gave up on this project. That’s not to say I started buying everything in sight, but I did remove the Rule that had Hung Over Me for the previous nine months. It wasn’t the relief I’d expected, probably because I didn’t go shopping for stuff except for things I kinda needed – like new Gore-Tex pants because I discovered mine from 2004 were no longer water-resistant during a rain storm on a glacier in Wyoming. :(
Mostly I’ve just felt sad about failing at this project in the way I wanted to succeed: in documenting this journey, and in finding it meaningful and profound. While I had tons of posts in my head, I never seemed to have time to write. While I felt it was a good experience, I didn’t wake up this morning transformed. I’ve always valued a less consumer-y, more sustainable, life style. I confirmed it doing this, and ultimately I found some peace following my heart.
But what the heck 2012?! A year that started so wonderfully, skinning into the backcountry of the Tetons on January 1, drove right off a cliff for me in late October. Here in New York City a nanny murdered two young children. Then Sandy hit and we lost power for a week, while others lost everything. An image that continues to haunt me: two young children drowned, swept from their mother’s arms as they fled rising waters. Then the reprieve of Thanksgiving was shattered by the school shootings in Newtown, CT.
A Quaker Open Letter describes what it means to add to the silence of a Quaker meeting:
If you feel moved to contribute after others have spoken, our experience is that it is as well to leave a fair time, and ask yourself whether you will be carrying further what has already been said.
As the mother of two young children, it’s been hard for me to focus on almost anything but just loving my kids these past few months. That doesn’t take money, or stuff, or words with anyone but them. Making Do seems very insignificant indeed.
So this morning I awoke thinking I’ll continue to Make Do as much as possible, and to write about it when there’s something to say. Here’s to a brighter 2013!